Application Letter
Cheo Yi Fen Bernice
Beshan Street 7A
Singapore 123456
Phone number: 99999999
14th September 2012
Hiring Manager
Ministry of Education, Singapore
1 North Buona Vista Drive
Singapore 138675
Dear Hiring Manager,
RE: Application for Allied Educator (Counselling) Position under the Ministry of Education
I am writing to express my keen interest in the Allied Educator (Counselling) position that is listed under the Ministry of Education teaching career positions listing.
The Ministry of Education aims to facilitate our students to discover their own talents, to realize their full potential and to develop a passion for life-long learning. Aside from the academic curriculum, MOE also ensures that support will be provided for students with social, emotional and behavior concerns. I would like to be part of this strong education system as an Allied Educator (Counselling) to nurture and develop our young generations so as to produce more outstanding students to lead Singapore to an even brighter future.
I will graduate in June 2014 from the National University of Singapore with a Bachelor of Science (with specialization in Biomedical Science) degree. Modules in the university had provided me with the academic knowledge and support in the field of biomedical science and it has also equipped me with good communication and interpersonal skills in both verbal and written forms.
As shown in my resume, I have had several job experiences. Working at CBS Interactive and Universal Studios Singapore served to improve my communication and critical thinking skills as the working environments were dynamic, active and people-oriented. In addition, I was involved in two community-based programs, the Junior Reading Ambassador hosted by NLB and an overseas CIP when I went on exchange to Hong Kong in 2008. Both programs required me to work with children and teenagers as I facilitated in various English activities that involved them. Both community projects gave me the opportunity to develop my interpersonal skills and I grew to be more empathetic as I had to interact with students of different ages and family backgrounds. As a private tutor I gained greater insights to the current education curriculum and most importantly I realized that healthy social and emotional developments play direct roles in supporting the student’s academic endeavors.
I enjoy working alongside with students and with the combination of my academic training, job experiences and community project involvements, I believe that I will make a valuable contribution to the board. I have attached my resume for your perusal. I can be contacted at +65 9999-9999 (mobile) or xxxxx@gmail.com (email) Thank you for your consideration. I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you for an interview.
Sincerely,
Cheo Yi Fen Bernice
Hi Bernice,
ReplyDeleteWhile i think that the application letter has been well worded and follows the 7Cs - it seems a bit too long to me. I feel that you could have reduced the length and not mention some of the not-important points. Also, the job experience paragraph could have been broken into several parts so as to allow the reader to relate more closely with all the different jobs you have done. Apart from that, your application letter is perfect and shows a thorough matching of qualifications to the requirements.
Hi Bernice,
ReplyDeleteI think that your letter is very well written. Your tone is formal and your English is good.
I like that you have researched into the organization you're applying to and state how their motto interest you. It is good to paraphrase their "objectives" into your own words and state further how this aligns with where you see yourself in the company and in the next 5+ years with them!
I also like that you have incorporated your work examples into your application letter. However, in this sentence: " Working at CBS Interactive and Universal Studios Singapore served to improve my communication and critical thinking skills as the working environments were dynamic, active and people-oriented. "
I would have liked to see specific examples for each of the jobs that showcase these skills you talk about. I note in your CV that you went into greater details about what your job had required of you and would have liked to see perhaps examples that describe a situation you were in that showcased it (:
I found the examples you gave on your work experience and community projects with young children very applicable as an example to give for this particular job. But I was surprised that it was not in your CV. Perhaps you should include it under non-academic activities and take out some of the details for the less relevant achievements. Otherwise, I feel that this example further ties into your opening paragraph that has stated on your interest in the company.
Overall, this is a good application letter. It is concise and clear. Although I feel that it could be improved better by switching the second and third paragraph to create a better flow. As it would go from stating your interest in the company and then followed by the examples and work experience that have lead you to apply for this position!
Cheers
Thank you for the useful opinions, Akaash and Isabel!
ReplyDeleteI will review my cover letter and make appropriate changes based on your suggestions!
Cheerios!